


My Turn

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: I'm coping again oops, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-24
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-10-10 01:46:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10426470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: Philip gets flashbacks when him and Lukas are trying to have sex. Lukas comforts him.AkaMe coping again





	

Lukas pushed Philip onto the bed, climbing on to the bed as well, settling himself between Philips legs. He leaned down, kissing him again, grabbing one of his hands, pinning it down on the back of the bed.

Philip pushed up into his touch, whimpering into the kiss. "Lukas.." he breathed out, pressing his forehead to Lukas'. He ran his fingers through Lukas' hair, biting his lip.

Lukas kissed down his neck, sliding his hands up Philips shirt, his finger tips brushing against his ribs. "You're so hot.. fuck.." Lukas pushed Philips shirt up, leaning down and kissing his stomach.

Philip arched into his touch, letting his eyes flutter shut. He turned his head to the side, burying his face in a pillow, pushing Lukas' head down, spreading his legs even more.

Lukas sat up, turning his head to kiss Philips arm, looking up at his boyfriend. "You're so bossy." He smirked, kissing up his chest then pressing a kiss to Philips collar.

Philip nodded. "I just like what I like.." he smirked, peeking out at his boyfriend.

Lukas licked his lips, nodding. He slid his hands down Philips sides, his fingers catching in the belt loops of Philips jeans. He tugged them down, roughly, signing when they caught on Philips mid thigh. "These are a real bitch, huh?" 

Philips breath caught in his throat, pulling away from Lukas as fast as he could. He tugged his pants up, nearly falling off of the bed. He sat on the edge, putting his hands over his face. 

Lukas frowned. "Philip?" He crawled towards him, reaching out and rubbing his arm.

Philip nearly jumped out of his skin, shaking his head. "No.. just.. please don't, not right now." 

Lukas swallowed, trying his hardest not to feel hurt. "Yeah, okay." He sat down next to Philip leaving about a foot of space between them.

The room fell silent, what was once a room full of sounds of kissing and the ruffling of sheets is now completely silent despite Philips rapid breathing. Lukas ran his fingers through his hair, looking around the room, trying to figure out what he had done wrong or if Philip was even mad at him.

And for Philip his heart felt like it was beating out of his chest. He wanted to die. Hew felt so overdramatic and like a giant baby. Lukas wasn't his mom's boyfriend, he knew that, he knew Lukas would never force him into anything. Then why was he panicking? Why is he suddenly getting all these flashbacks of Todd hurting him?

"I'm sorry.." Philip whispered, wrapping his arms around himself. "I'm sorry I did that, I'm sorry."

Lukas smiled a bit just hearing Philips voice. "You know.. you can say no.. I know we've never really, you know, had to but you can say no, I won't be ma-"

"I didn't want it to stop." Philip muttered, running his fingers through his hair, blinking away the tears filling in his eyes. "I liked it."

"Then.. why did you.. pull away?" Lukas scratched the back of his head, his eyebrows knitting together, thinking about what they had done. Did he hurt Philip? He didn't think so. 

"It's dumb." Philip shook his head, taking a few more deep breaths. "We can keep going.." he grabbed Lukas' arm, pulling him into a kiss.

Lukas pulled away after a few seconds of kissing. "I don't want to."

"Why-"

"I wanna know what happened." Lukas bit his lip, looking down after his lap. "I don't wanna upset you again."

"It-"

"Just tell me what I did wrong."

"You didn't do anything wrong!" Philip snapped, standing up, covering his mouth with the palm of his hand.

Lukas flinched at the sudden change in tone. "Just tell me what happened."

"It's not- It's not that easy to just explain, Lukas, why can't you trust me?!" 

"Because I know you push yourself you idiot. You constantly do things other people want without thinking about yourself!" Lukas stood up, standing in front of Philip.

"I don't do th-"

"You do so don't even start trying to lie. Now I'm sorry but I'm working my ass off to try and figure out to be a good boyfriend but it's sorta hard when you refuse to tell me stuff, alright?" 

Philip closed his eyes and focused on slowing his breathing and not letting tears out.

Lukas' face softened and he sighed. "I was.. I was scared." He mumbled, reaching out and tugging Philip into a hug. 

"I'm sorry.." Philip gasped out, all the tears he was holding back were slipping out. 

Lukas kissed his head, rubbing his back, squeezing him. "What's up?" He whispered, pulling away and wiping Philips tears away.

Philip shook his head. "I can't.."

"You can.. Philip, don't be stupid, we witnessed a triple homicide, how much worse can it be?"

"It's Todd.." Philip whispered, his eyes raising from the ground and looking up at Lukas in time to see his face change. It went from soft to angry and it couldn't help but make Philip feel worse. "I'm sorry.. I didn't want him to be in this part of my life.. this part of us.. he's already taken so many things from me.. I didn't want him to ruin it.."

Lukas nodded, his face softening again. He smiled but it was forced, they both knew that, but Philip was thankful Lukas was trying and not running for the hills because his boyfriend his fucked up. "Take it from me, I've tried that tons of times and it doesn't work. Just because you don't admit it's happening doesn't mean it stops happening."

Philip nodded, wiping his eyes again. "I'm sorry."

"Baby, why?" Lukas whispered, stepping up and kissing Philips head. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"I ruined this.. now every time you touch me you're gonna be worried I'm gonna freak out and do this again." Philip let out a pained laugh. "Or even worse you just won't want to even try and then I'm left with the realization that I'm so messed up from some asshole that I can't even have sex with my boyfriend."

"Philip-"

Philip shook his head. "It's fine. You don't have to worry, I'll just suck it up, okay? Just don't stop touching me."

"Why-"

"I know I'm fucked up and it's kind of gross but I promise it's fine."

Lukas cupped Philips cheeks, pressing their lips together, softly. "I'm not gonna stop touching you." He chuckled, slapping Philips ass. "But I am gonna go slower and you're gonna tell me if we need to stop, okay?"

"You don't think I'm gross?" Philip whispered and it made Lukas' heart ache hearing how happy he sounded.

Lukas shook his head. "Hell no, it's not your fault that freak fucked with you, alright? And I don't think you're weird from having those little freak outs."

Philip buried his face in Lukas' chest, letting out a sigh of relief. "Okay.."

"Okay." Lukas kissed his head. "You're not.. weird for doing it.. alright?" he pulled away, pressing his forehead to Philips. "Sometimes I do that when I'm riding.." 

Philip sniffled. "You do?"

Lukas nodded, kissing his forehead. "So it's not weird.. I promise."

Philip nodded, closing his eyes, resting his head on Lukas' chest. 

"Thank you for that.." Philip whispered after a few seconds.

"For?"

"For being nice."

Lukas just smiled and kissed his head. "It's my turn to be strong for you."


End file.
